Joshua Roman

Roman argues that practicing is fundamentally about building trust in oneself rather than checking boxes.

“Practicing is about trusting. And just like in any other relationship, trust is a matter of building the trust part, not the verify part”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 32:02

Roman believes he is playing better than ever after changing his approach to practice.

“another paradox or irony or whatever you want to call it is that I think I'm playing better than ever”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 29:56

Roman says he decided to stop practicing when he didn't want to, and found his focus while playing improved as a result.

“there was a point that I realized I needed to stop practicing when I didn't want to practice”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 30:32

Roman says that before the pandemic he practiced six to ten hours a day and lived at a relentless pace.

“So I used to practice anywhere from six to ten hours a day. I was always reaching, striving to make myself better”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 6:29

Roman says COVID forced him to confront issues he could have faced much earlier.

“It totally forced me into facing something that I could have faced a long time ago”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 24:55

Roman credits his primary care doctor with recognizing possible long COVID and referring him for expert help.

“I'm very, very lucky that my primary care doctor knew about and understood enough about long COVID”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 12:23

Roman describes his long COVID fatigue as unlike ordinary tiredness, like having weights inside his body.

“It's this feeling like I'm wearing weights inside of my body or something that I just lifting an arm can be so difficult”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 11:42

Roman says his skills were merely tools rather than the essence of music, and that he is now the same person with less fear.

“They just weren't the thing. They were just tools that help when you have the thing. So I'm the same person with less and less fear of being who I am”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 47:29

Roman says he had been stuck in a gig mentality, afraid to turn down opportunities and unaware of his own exhaustion.

“I'd been stuck in a gig mentality for much of my career, waiting for the phone to ring, afraid to say no to any opportunity”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 17:53

Roman says that during the early pandemic he used the cello as a tool to serve others while ignoring his personal relationship with it.

“I think I was using the cello as a tool, trying to extract all the good that I could from it in a way that would make an impact for other people”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 9:16

Roman says his early certainty about a cello career cut both ways, giving him focus but limiting his time for everything else.

“And I think it cuts both ways. For me, it's been great. It's been great, but it's also been”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 5:05

Roman says the title piece of Immunity emerged only when he stopped trying to force an epic composition and simply played.

“I couldn't force myself to write the piece that I wanted. But when I let go and just played, I came away with the piece that I needed”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 39:58

Roman argues that trying to be a perfect empty vessel for music made him a lesser musician because he left himself out of it.

“I wasn't even really doing that as well as I could because I wasn't letting myself be a part of the equation”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 26:24

Roman says his crisis stemmed from losing the religious framework that had made him believe music would save people, without having found a replacement.

“I didn't know if I could believe anymore that music would save people because I didn't believe in the construct that had given me that in the first place”

TED Radio Hour: What this musician’s identity crisis teaches us about navigating change (Sep 11, 2026) · Listen from 23:18