The Chiefs Choke, Lamar’s Out, Minshew Magic, Peanut Punch Chaos, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Episode of The Bill Simmons Podcast · November 2, 2026 · 1 h 57 min

Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal recap NFL Week 8 live on Netflix, guess Week 9 betting lines, share family stories, and briefly discuss the NBA.

Summary

Recorded live after the Eagles-Commanders Sunday night game, Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal reviewed Week 8 of the 2026 NFL season. Simmons proposed crossing the 2-6 Eagles off the playoff list, called the Chiefs' loss to the Broncos a choke job, and criticized Jim Nantz's broadcast. The pair discussed Lamar Jackson's thumb injury and the Ravens' fading playoff hopes, the Steelers' offensive improvement under a new coaching setup, the Lions' win over the Vikings and Kyler Murray's struggles, and Tampa Bay winning without completing a pass.

Simmons argued that a missed peanut punch that strikes a player should draw a 15-yard penalty, said he could not decide whether Justin Herbert or Mike McDaniel was more to blame for the Chargers' offense, and reported that UCLA planned to extend coach Bob Chesney. Sal delivered a rant about Jerry Jones and the Cowboys after a blown fourth-quarter lead to Arizona, and both hosts criticized kicking off first in overtime and early two-point attempts justified by analytics. Simmons also stood by his reporting that the new Lakers ownership group had not yet secured all of its $12.5 billion.

In Guess the Lines for Week 9, Sal won the week and took a 4-3-2 season lead; Simmons issued a mock PSA warning against betting the Texans-Chargers game and said he considered the Bears the best team in the NFC. In Parent Corner, Sal described his 85-year-old father losing a boat to a repairman, with insurance treating it as embezzlement rather than theft, and Simmons reflected on the end of his daughter Zoe's college soccer career. The episode closed with NBA talk about strong rookies, a wide-open title race, and the 76ers.

Chapters

  1. 1:08

    Intro and Eagles-Commanders

    The hosts open live on Netflix, criticize the Sunday night matchup, and vote to cross the 2-6 Eagles off the playoff list.

  2. 11:09

    Broncos beat the Chiefs

    Simmons and Sal break down Kansas City's late collapse, the controversial false start, Bo Nix's comebacks, and the CBS broadcast.

  3. 20:11

    Ravens-Bills and Browns-Steelers

    Lamar Jackson's thumb injury, Baltimore's playoff odds, and Pittsburgh's improved offense are discussed.

  4. 31:28

    Vikings-Lions and Bucs-Falcons

    The hosts discuss Minnesota's quarterback problems, Tampa winning without a completion, peanut punches, and the quarterback-win stat.

  5. 47:34

    Chargers, Patriots, Raiders-Jets and UCLA

    Topics include the Chargers' offensive collapse, the Patriots' win in Miami, Aaron Glenn's job security, and UCLA football and the polls.

  6. 1:05:07

    Cowboys collapse and two-point strategy

    Sal rants about Jerry Jones after Minshew rallies Arizona, and both criticize overtime kickoff decisions and analytics-driven two-point tries.

  7. 1:14:20

    Bengals, Jags-Colts, Guess the Plot and Lakers money

    The hosts recap Cincinnati's comeback, joke about CBS procedural plots, and Simmons defends his Lakers ownership reporting.

  8. 1:23:30

    Guess the Lines Week 9

    Simmons and Sal guess Week 9 point spreads, with Sal winning the week and Simmons warning listeners off Texans-Chargers.

  9. 1:39:36

    Parent Corner

    Sal recounts his father's stolen boat and insurance fight, and Simmons reflects on his daughter's soccer career ending.

  10. 1:47:47

    NBA catch-up

    The hosts discuss standout rookies, a wide-open title race, Celtics and 76ers prospects, and futures odds.

Key points

What was said, by whom, with the exact words. Timestamps jump to the moment.

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons argued the 2-6 Eagles should be crossed off as a playoff team.

    “I think Philly's the next cross-off. I don't see this coming back”

    Listen from 4:09 · Philadelphia Eagles

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons called Broncos-Chiefs the game of the year and mocked Denver's reliance on Bo Nix comebacks.

    “Broncos-Chiefs was actually the game of the year Where the Broncos are just doing karaoke with this Bo Nix thing now”

    Listen from 11:26 · Kansas City Chiefs

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons criticized Jim Nantz for not matching the energy of the Broncos-Chiefs game.

    “But he did not match the excitement and energy of that game today, I didn't think”

    Listen from 18:33 · 2026 NFL season

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons suggested the Ravens' season might be over if Lamar Jackson misses several weeks.

    “Like this might be a wrap for them because if they're four and five and Lamar's not going to come back in three to four weeks”

    Listen from 23:20 · Baltimore Ravens

  • Cousin Sal

    Sal argued the Vikings' weak offense will be a problem going forward.

    “They average like 16 points a game over the last six. It's going to be a problem”

    Listen from 34:25 · 2026 NFL season

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons argued Kyler Murray is a known quantity who will not improve at this stage of his career.

    “You don't just get better at quarterback as you're hitting your late 30s or late 20s”

    Listen from 38:05 · 2026 NFL season

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons proposed that a missed peanut punch that strikes a player should be penalized.

    “If you miss the peanut punch and you actually punch the guy, I think it should be a 15-yard penalty”

    Listen from 43:37 · Peanut punch

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons said he could not decide whether Justin Herbert or Mike McDaniel was more to blame for the Chargers' offense.

    “I don't know who to blame for this Chargers offense debacle between Herbert and McDaniel”

    Listen from 48:05 · Los Angeles Chargers

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons reported that UCLA is working on a contract extension for coach Bob Chesney.

    “UCLA is going to extend Bob Chesney. That's in the works”

    Listen from 58:49 · UCLA Bruins football

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons argued the college football poll system is flawed and that UCLA is not truly a top-five team.

    “There's no way they're one of the five best teams in college football”

    Listen from 1:00:31 · UCLA Bruins football

  • Linked moment · 1:06:58Skip to 1:06:58 using a listen link in the info box.

    Cousin Sal

    Sal blamed Jerry Jones for the Cowboys' failures, citing his refusal to hire a GM or capable coaches.

    “he doesn't hire a GM. He doesn't hire capable coaches. He makes sure the defense is an abject embarrassment week after week”

    Listen from 1:06:58 · Dallas Cowboys

  • Cousin Sal

    Sal argued that the analytics rationale of paying for information overvalues early two-point tries and overtime kickoffs.

    “You're paying for information. Like, all right, you're paying too much, I think, for this dumb information”

    Listen from 1:11:55 · Two-point conversion and overtime strategy

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons rejected the analytics case for going for two when down 14, saying he will never understand it.

    “But the analytics say you should go for it. I don't get it at all. I will never understand it”

    Listen from 1:12:40 · Two-point conversion and overtime strategy

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons stood by his reporting that the new Lakers ownership group was still seeking part of the $12.5 billion purchase price.

    “I think they're confident they are going to get the money, but I've talked to too many people who said they're still looking to find the remaining money to pay $12.5 billion”

    Listen from 1:22:51 · Los Angeles Lakers

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons warned listeners not to bet on the Texans-Chargers game in any form.

    “Please don't wager on the Texas Chargers game. Don't put the Texans in a parlay. Don't tease the Chargers backwards”

    Listen from 1:34:38 · Sports betting

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons said he holds a Bears Super Bowl ticket and considers Chicago the best team in the NFC.

    “I have them at 14 to one and it's 10 to one now. That's fun. I think they are the best team in the NFC”

    Listen from 1:35:55 · 2026 NFL season

  • Cousin Sal

    Sal said the insurer refused coverage because it classified the boat loss as embezzlement rather than theft.

    “It's like, yeah, we can't cover him because he's only covered for theft”

    Listen from 1:40:49 · Fatherhood

  • Cousin Sal

    Sal recounted that the man hired to repair his father's boat disappeared, forcing police involvement.

    “And then he stops taking my father's calls. And now, like, I have to get involved. And now the cops are involved”

    Listen from 1:41:10 · Fatherhood

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons said the Warriors' rookie Yaxel has played well enough to be a potential All-Star and called the rookie class special.

    “Yaxel has a chance to be an all-star. That's how good he's been”

    Listen from 1:48:14 · NBA rookie class

  • Bill Simmons

    Simmons argued the NBA title race is wide open because Oklahoma City has been compromised.

    “If I'm like any of 12 teams, I feel like I have a chance this year. Because OKC was going to just wax everybody, and that's just not happening”

    Listen from 1:49:05

People

In the conversation

  • Bill SimmonsSportswriter and founder of The Ringer, host of The Bill Simmons Podcast
  • Cousin SalSal Iacono, American comedian, Jimmy Kimmel Live writer and Ringer betting podcaster; Dallas Cowboys fan

Discussed

Topics

More from The Bill Simmons Podcast

From the publisher

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal LIVE after Eagles-Commanders to recap Week 8 of the NFL season. Then, they Guess the Lines for Week 9 before ending with Parent Corner. (0:00) Intro (1:52) Eagles-Commanders (11:18) Chiefs-Broncos (20:41) Ravens-Bills and Browns-Steelers (32:25) Vikings-Lions (39:07) Falcons-Buccaneers (47:36) Chargers-Rams (53:51) Patriots-Dolphins (56:59) Raiders-Jets (01:05:07) Cardinals-Cowboys (01:14:20) Titans-Bengals (01:17:43) Colts-Jaguars (01:23:42) Guess the Lines Week 9 (01:39:42) Parent Corner (01:47:44) NBA Catch-up Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producers: Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Chris Wohlers This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Create a Personalized Price Plan® today. https://www.statefarm.com/lp/football/ See what boring banking can do for you. The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit https://fanduel.com/playwithaplan to learn more about the resources and helplines. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Summary, chapters and key points were generated from the episode transcript on November 3, 2026. Quotes are checked word for word against the transcript.

Categories: Football·Basketball