Glenn Nielsen

Nielsen contends that operating from a wounded expectation of disappointment leads to breakup or a loveless marriage.

“And if you keep operating from that, you will break up. You will end up in a loveless marriage, sleeping in different rooms”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 31:25

Nielsen argues that the more intensely one is activated by a partner's minor action, the more likely the issue lies with oneself.

“the higher level of activation, the more that thing, that, that thing is really, it's a good chance it has something to do with you, not your partner”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 28:53

Nielsen, citing Peter Levine, argues that wild animals naturally discharge trauma while humans' neocortex interferes.

“It's like animals in the wilderness don't get traumatized. Domestic animals do. We do. Our neocortex gets in the way and things like that”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 25:16

Nielsen says the agreements they made before marriage were a lifesaver when problems surfaced.

“We were able to lean back on the agreements that we had agreed to back before we got married and all these other things”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 17:44

Nielsen credits Vartanian with insisting on a year of counseling with their mentor before marrying, which they used to design their relationship.

“she said, I want to do a year before we get married of counseling with our mentor”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 16:33

Nielsen describes feeling less than as a man and fearing his wife's love was conditional when he struggled financially for the first time.

“Oh my God, for the first time in my life, I'm struggling financially here. And how do I get out of this?”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 12:41

Nielsen says his Mormon upbringing taught that a man must earn enough for his wife to stay home, shaping his provider role.

“the teaching was if you're not making enough money to support your family so your wife can be at home and raise the kids get a second job”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 10:14