Natalie Vartanian

Vartanian says she performed hyper-independence to survive and found peace and freedom after learning to accept help.

“i was very much performing the i'm fine i got it i can do everything i'm independent i don't need anyone”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 47:21

Vartanian says that while supporting Nielsen she over-functioned and piled more responsibility onto herself.

“I'm over functioning. I'm over producing. I'm like, I got it. I got this. I got that. Don't worry”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 14:24

Vartanian recounts that she gradually felt she was losing herself in the marriage and becoming a muted version of herself.

“Like I felt like a muted version of myself and I'm a pretty big boisterous, like energetic person, you know?”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 3:48

Vartanian claims that fully leaning into healing work makes results come faster than resisting it.

“If you actually leaned in fully, and you just said, yes, and you did it, it will actually happen a lot faster and you'll get the goods a lot sooner”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 41:52

Vartanian says many clients resist healing work because they do not want to relive and re-feel past trauma.

“i don't want to have to relive everything that i went through i don't want to have to re-feel it”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 32:52

Vartanian argues that the common framing of relationships as 'hard work' is destructive to how people approach them.

“i think it's very destructive to the way we look at doing the work in relationship and why people are like oh it's hard work”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 40:14

Vartanian argues that the romantic side of a relationship must be actively nurtured or it will die.

“Lovership actually needs to be cultivated. It's like a plant. If you don't feed it, if you don't talk to it”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 35:01

Vartanian recommends framing check-ins around what is working and what to do more of, since asking what is not working can put partners on the defensive.

“And sometimes the what's not working is triggering for people, right? Because again, it puts them on defense”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 38:23