A Private Matter, Episode 4
Episode of Bear Brook · November 4, 2026 · 45 min
Jason Moon examines why police haven't charged Patty Hickey, a phone call that prompted a new search for Jay Hickey, and the science of finding lost people with dementia.
Summary
In the fourth episode of Bear Brook's season A Private Matter, NHPR reporter Jason Moon followed the continuing search for answers in the disappearance of Jay Hickey, a Christmas tree farmer from Epsom, New Hampshire, who had advanced dementia. The episode opened with Jay's brother Rob Hickey and his wife Sandra consulting a medium, who claimed foul play and relayed a message of peace from Jay; Rob said the session brought him some closure.
Epsom Police Chief Brian Michael said he did not believe Patty Hickey's explanation that Jay was a private man, but explained that failing to report a spouse missing is not a crime. Moon described New Hampshire's 2002 law criminalizing neglect of impaired adults that causes serious bodily injury, noting that without Jay's body no such injury can be shown, and that Jay cannot be declared legally dead until February 2028. Jay's daughter Kay Danko said she had long believed Patty would be the death of him, and that she found murder easier to imagine than Jay dying alone.
In February 2026, Patty left a rambling voicemail for former babysitter Kathy O'Mara and, in a follow-up call, said she had found Jay dead by an old foundation on the property, calling it a private matter. O'Mara reported this to police, but a search with cadaver dogs after the snow melted in April found nothing, and Patty told police the foundation was merely where she last saw Jay alive.
Search expert Robert Koester explained dementia wandering patterns, including that 75% of such subjects are found within 1.2 miles. Moon compared this with the police's half-mile search, and Fish and Game Lieutenant Adam Chaney explained why a further search was judged infeasible due to cost, elapsed time, leaf cover, and rodents. Moon searched part of the wider radius himself without result.
Chapters
- 1:06
Consulting a medium
Rob and Sandra Hickey hold a Zoom session with a medium who claims foul play and relays a message from Jay.
- 8:02
Why Patty hasn't been charged
Chief Brian Michael explains that not reporting a spouse missing is not a crime, and Moon examines New Hampshire's neglect law and death-declaration rules.
- 16:10
Kay Danko's suspicions
Jay's daughter Kay describes estrangement, her spiritual search, and her long-held belief that Patty would be the death of Jay.
- 19:35
Patty's call to Kathy O'Mara
Patty tells her former babysitter she found Jay dead by the old foundation, prompting a police search warrant.
- 26:42
The foundation search comes up empty
After the snow melts, police search the old foundation with cadaver dogs and find nothing, and Patty revises her account.
- 29:19
The science of lost person behavior
Robert Koester explains dementia wandering types and the distances within which lost dementia patients are typically found.
- 35:06
Evaluating the official search
Moon reviews the police searches and Lt. Adam Chaney explains why Fish and Game judged a further search infeasible.
- 40:30
Moon's own search and credits
Moon searches part of the 1.2-mile radius himself, previews the final episode, and reads the credits.
Key points
What was said, by whom, with the exact words. Timestamps jump to the moment.
Linked moment · 8:30Skip to 8:30 using a listen link in the info box.
Brian MichaelBrian Michael said he could not comprehend how a wife could fail to report her husband missing for a significant time.
“how you could not report your husband missing is absolutely beyond anything ethically or morally that I can comprehend”
- Brian Michael
Brian Michael said the county attorney's office told police there is no criminal charge for simply not reporting someone missing.
“there is no criminal charge that we can charge anybody with if you just simply don't report somebody missing”
- Jason Moon
Moon reported that without Jay's body, police cannot show serious bodily injury from neglect, so it is unclear whether a crime occurred.
“without Jay's body, police can't say whether Patty's failure to call for help was a crime or not”
Listen from 12:19 · New Hampshire neglect of elderly, disabled, or impaired adults law
- Jason Moon
Moon reported that under New Hampshire's four-year rule, Jay cannot legally be declared dead until February 26, 2028.
“he can't legally be declared dead until February 26, 2028”
- Brian Michael
Brian Michael said the investigation remains open but suspended pending new leads, with no further search planned.
“The investigation is open, but it's currently suspended until there's more leads that come”
- Brian Michael
Brian Michael said the case is personal to him and will haunt him throughout his career until Jay is found.
“it's one of the ones that's going to haunt me for my career until we can find him”
- Kay Danko
Kay Danko said she was not surprised by Jay's disappearance and immediately thought Patty had killed him.
“It did not surprise me one bit when I heard that my stepdad was missing. And my initial thought was she killed him”
- Kay Danko
Kay Danko said that around 2007 she warned Jay that Patty would kill him if he took her back.
“i said if you take her back she will kill you someday”
- Kay Danko
Kay Danko said it was easier to believe Patty killed Jay than to picture him dying alone after wandering off.
“Which maybe that's why it's easier for me to believe that she killed him and she just won't admit it”
- Kathy O'Mara
Kathy O'Mara recounted that Patty told her by phone that she had found Jay dead near the old foundation after he wandered off.
“she said, you know, I found him. He was dead when I found him. And I said, well, what happened? She said, well, he went off”
- Kathy O'Mara
Kathy O'Mara said she told Patty it was not a private matter because Jay's children deserved to know.
“no, it's not a private matter, Pat, because you have kids, and those kids deserve to know what their father is”
- Adam Chaney
Adam Chaney said long-term searches for remains are hampered because leaf cover buries bones.
“the foliage falls and grows back and comes off and it buries any kind of evidence like that”
- Adam Chaney
Adam Chaney said rodents consume most bones in the woods, which is why deer bones are rarely found.
“you go for a walk in the woods, very rarely you find a bone. It's because the rodents chew them all up”
- Jason Moon
Moon said he wished police had searched to the 1.2-mile radius with cadaver dogs, but understood why they did not.
“do I wish they had searched out to Robert's 1.2-mile radius with cadaver dogs? Yes. Can I understand why they didn't? Yes”
People
In the conversation
- Jason MoonNHPR reporter; writer, reporter, and composer of the Bear Brook season A Private Matter
- Rob HickeyJay Hickey's youngest brother, a retired ATM repairman living in Massachusetts
- Sandra HickeyWife of Rob Hickey
- Kay DankoDaughter of Patty Hickey, raised and adopted by Jay Hickey
- Brian MichaelPolice chief of Epsom, New Hampshire
- Kathy O'MaraFormer babysitter of the Hickey children
- Robert KoesterSearch and rescue expert and author of Lost Person Behavior
- Adam ChaneyLieutenant with the New Hampshire Fish and Game Department who leads searches for lost people
Discussed
- Jay HickeyEpsom, New Hampshire Christmas tree farmer and former zoning officer with dementia who disappeared
- Isabel HickeyAstrologer and grandmother of Jay and Rob Hickey
- Joe MurphyPrivate investigator who looked into Jay Hickey's disappearance
- Emily HickeyDaughter of Patty Hickey who called police about Jay's disappearance
Topics
- Disappearance of Jay Hickey
- Dementia wandering
- Search and rescue
- Lost Person Behavior
- Mediumship
- New Hampshire neglect of elderly, disabled, or impaired adults law
- Epsom Police Department
- New Hampshire Fish and Game Department
- Declaration of death in absentia
- Duty to rescue
- Detection dog
- Cold case investigations
From the publisher
More than three years after Jay's last known sighting, some in the family suspect foul play. Police explain why they haven't charged Patty with a crime. Then, a strange phone call leads to a new search. Could Jay still be found? The science of search and rescue offers some clues. To hear this season of Bear Brook ad-free, click here to become a member of our Patreon. Bear Brook is a production of the Document team at New Hampshire Public Radio. If you have tips or more information, email us at bearbrook@nhpr.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Summary, chapters and key points were generated from the episode transcript on November 5, 2026. Quotes are checked word for word against the transcript.