Listener Tales 111: Camping Tales

Episode of Morbid · June 25, 2026 · 1 h 31 min

Morbid hosts Alaina Urquhart and Ash Kelley, dressed as Mothman and Bigfoot, read and riff on five listener-submitted camping horror tales.

Summary

In this Listener Tales episode of Morbid, co-hosts Alaina Urquhart and Ash Kelley, costumed as forest cryptids, read five camping-themed stories sent in by listeners. Both hosts said they had no interest in camping; Kelley recounted getting sleep paralysis while glamping and thinking of The Blair Witch Project, and Urquhart said she does not belong sleeping outside.

The first tale, from a tattoo artist named Sarah, described a man in a white cargo van near Phil's Trailhead in Bend, Oregon, who handed her partner two beers and was later arrested with guns he allegedly planned to use on people in the area; her dog's panicked vomiting distracted the encounter. The second, anonymous tale answered the viral "man or bear" question with a trip to McCloud Falls in California, where the writer was asked by a man to take nude photos of him and later peacefully shared space with a black bear. The third, from a listener raised off-grid in Manitoba, described getting lost in a uniform forest, hearing screams others could not hear, seeing a large antlered creature, and emerging having apparently experienced three nights in two days.

The fourth tale recounted a listener's husband, Josh, whose earlier camping trips involved taunting a suspected axe murderer (leaving his father's tent as state's evidence) and waking to a burning tent after a campground brawl; the listener's own trip with him ended only with park rangers making the group pour out their alcohol. The final tale, from Katie, described hearing disembodied footsteps and a bat-like scraping at an Appalachian Trail shelter, fleeing to a resort, and then finishing a 283.5-mile hike. The hosts digressed frequently into banter about slang, baptism, high school cheerleading, Pandora radio, and horror film remakes.

Chapters

0:00
Cryptid costumes and camping aversion
The hosts open dressed as Bigfoot and Mothman and explain why neither wants to camp, including Kelley's sleep paralysis while glamping.
4:14
Tale one: the murder beers of Bend, Oregon
Sarah recounts a menacing van driver who handed her partner beers near Phil's Trailhead and was later arrested with guns.
26:41
Tale two: man or bear at McCloud Falls
An anonymous listener describes a man seeking nude photos and a calm encounter with a black bear on the same trip.
36:16
Tale three: lost in a time-bending forest
A Manitoba-raised listener and two friends get lost, hear unexplained sounds, see an antlered creature, and lose track of a day.
54:32
Tale four: the camping murders
A listener tells of her husband's camping trips involving an axe murderer and a campground brawl, and her own trip ending with rangers confiscating alcohol.
1:14:35
Tale five: ghosts on the Appalachian Trail
Katie describes invisible footsteps and scraping at a trail shelter, her escape to a resort, and completing her hike.
1:28:29
Wrap-up
The hosts react, debate the phrase 'as per usual,' and invite listeners to submit tales.

Key points

What was said, by whom, with the exact words. Timestamps jump to the moment.

Ash Kelley
Kelley said she experienced sleep paralysis while staying in a camper in the woods and thought about The Blair Witch Project.
“And I got sleep paralysis there and I thought of the Blair Witch a lot”
Listen from 2:42 · Camping
Alaina Urquhart
Urquhart said she would never camp again because she does not belong sleeping outside.
“I will not be doing it again. I don't belong sleeping outside”
Listen from 2:58 · Camping
Ash Kelley
Kelley declared she would never camp in Bend, Oregon, or anywhere else.
“Also, I'm never going to camp in Bend, Oregon. No. And I'm never going to camp anywhere”
Listen from 5:16 · Bend, Oregon
Alaina Urquhart
Urquhart argued that the listener's bad feeling about the van driver was a gut instinct worth trusting.
“Well, trust your gut. That's a gut feeling, babe. We weren't there”
Listen from 14:10 · Bend, Oregon
Alaina Urquhart
Urquhart said black bears generally leave people alone if they are not provoked.
“As long as you don't like fuck with them they won't fuck with you usually”
Listen from 34:35 · Black bear
Ash Kelley
Kelley remarked that it is sad a woman can be calm around a black bear yet fearful of a man.
“like really sad that a woman will be like, oh, wow, a black bear. And then, oh, fuck a man”
Listen from 35:43 · Man or bear
Ash Kelley
Kelley called The Blair Witch Project a masterpiece and said a remake would not be done well.
“that movie is a masterpiece and they're not gonna do a good job remaking it”
Listen from 45:55 · The Blair Witch Project
Alaina Urquhart
Urquhart argued horror is scarier when the threat is unseen, citing why The Strangers sequels fail.
“It's like why The Strangers doesn't work in sequel form because you showed me The Strangers”
Listen from 46:11 · The Blair Witch Project
Ash Kelley
Kelley called the Manitoba forest story one of the best listener tales the show has done.
“I think that's one of the best listener tales we've ever done”
Listen from 54:16 · Ghost sightings and hauntings
Ash Kelley
Kelley said she quit high school cheerleading because people were unkind to the cheerleaders.
“that's actually why i quit cheer because people were not nice to us”
Listen from 1:01:02
Alaina Urquhart
Urquhart said calling out 'hello' to an unknown presence is the wrong move in a threatening situation.
“No, you don't do that, baby. You don't do that. No. That's the worst”
Listen from 1:22:46 · Appalachian Trail
Ash Kelley
Kelley said she would rather face a human threat than an invisible one.
“I'd rather deal with a human scary person than an invisible”
Listen from 1:25:53 · Ghost sightings and hauntings
Alaina Urquhart
Urquhart took the opposite view, reasoning that a person can be fought off but a ghost cannot.
“Wait, no, because I was just thinking, here's the thing, you can kill a person”
Listen from 1:26:10 · Ghost sightings and hauntings
Linked moment · 1:28:31Skip to 1:28:31 using a listen link in the info box.
Ash Kelley
Kelley concluded that the stories had not persuaded her to go camping.
“If you guys thought that this was going to make me camp, you're wrong”
Listen from 1:28:31 · Camping

People

In the conversation

Alaina UrquhartCo-host of Morbid, autopsy technician and author of the Butcher novels
Ash KelleyCo-host of the true crime podcast Morbid

Discussed

Pedro MartinezFormer Boston Red Sox pitcher referenced in a listener's story
Roger ClemensFormer New York Yankees pitcher referenced in a listener's story
Ted BundyAmerican serial killer newly linked by DNA to a 1974 Utah victim

Topics

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The Haunting of Lemp Mansion
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Morbid hosts Alaina Urquhart and Ash Kelley recount the rise and fall of St. Louis's Lemp brewing dynasty, its string of suicides, and the alleged haunting of Lemp Mansion.
#344 Dusty Slay - Moon Landing Conspiracies, Flat Earth, Aliens and the Nephilim
The Shawn Ryan Show · Oct 1, 2026 · 2 h 52 min
Comedian Dusty Slay tells Shawn Ryan about his Alabama upbringing, sobriety, comedy career, Torah-observant Christian faith, and doubts about the moon landing and round earth.
The Eddy Brothers and the High Life Ski Club
Morbid · Oct 1, 2026 · 46 min
Morbid hosts Ash Kelley and Alaina Urquhart recount the 1870s Vermont mediums William and Horatio Eddy, their Spiritualist fame, fraud allegations, and their haunted former tavern.
Listener Tales 114: Back to School Tales
Morbid · Sep 28, 2026 · 54 min
Morbid hosts Ash Kelley and Alaina Urquhart, costumed as Miss Trunchbull and Miss Frizzle, read back-to-school listener tales about haunted schools and a haunted college house.
Morbid Book Club: Killing The Boogeyman by Richard Chizmar
Morbid · Sep 25, 2026 · 2 h 11 min
Morbid hosts Ash Kelley and Alaina Urquhart talk with horror author Richard Chizmar about his Boogeyman trilogy finale, Killing the Boogeyman, and collaborating with Stephen King.

From the publisher

Weirdos! It's one of our favorite times of the month: Listener Tales!! This time, Deb has found some spine tingling camping tales that will make you rethink ever stepping foot in the woods again! The best part? These tales are BY you FOR you and ALL ABOUT YOU! We go off the rails the week, so strap in, friends! Check out the YOUTUBE version is packed with extra Nicholas footage! If you’ve got a listener tale please send it to Deb by emailing us at Morbidpodcast@gmail.com with “Listener Tales” somewhere in the subject line, and if you share pictures, please let us know if we can share them with fellow weirdos! :)

Summary, chapters and key points were generated from the episode transcript on September 29, 2026. Quotes are checked word for word against the transcript.

Categories: Comedy·Wilderness·Spirituality