Listener Tales 114: Back to School Tales

Episode of Morbid · September 28, 2026 · 54 min

Morbid hosts Ash Kelley and Alaina Urquhart, costumed as Miss Trunchbull and Miss Frizzle, read back-to-school listener tales about haunted schools and a haunted college house.

Summary

In this back-to-school edition of Morbid's Listener Tales, hosts Ash Kelley and Alaina Urquhart, dressed as Miss Trunchbull and Miss Frizzle, read listener-submitted stories selected by producer Deb. They opened by asking listeners to submit Halloween-themed tales for October.

The first tale, from a listener named Shelby, described a small private school in rural Tennessee built in 1912 and demolished in 2008, including a talking teddy bear in a prop loft, a basketball that moved on its own, and oppressive bathrooms. The story prompted a tangent about the scariest scenes in The Sixth Sense and the hosts' frustration over the cancelled third Monster High film. An anonymous listener then credited Morbid with helping her through postpartum depression before recounting a 2016 date at a haunted elementary school where an old man with an axe turned off her car and chased her friends out.

A teacher writing as "Emma" shared ghost lore from a school for the deaf and blind in Staunton, Virginia, which served as a Civil War hospital, including the "boy in blue," a one-legged Union soldier nicknamed Billy X, a girl in a white nightgown, and stove burners turning on by themselves. The final tale described a college rental house with an upside-down cross, a man staring at the windows, a shadow figure in the bathroom, a boyfriend's recurring nightmare, a condom-shaped stain, and the house later burning down after a car exploded; the hosts jokingly blamed the cross left on the stove.

Chapters

0:00
Costume intro
The hosts introduce themselves as Miss Trunchbull and Miss Frizzle and joke about the Chokey on the Magic School Bus.
1:46
Call for Halloween tales
Kelley and Urquhart ask listeners to send Halloween-themed scary stories for October.
3:09
Shelby's haunted Tennessee schoolhouse
Urquhart reads about a 1912 schoolhouse with a talking bear in the prop loft, a moving basketball, and oppressive bathrooms.
10:02
The Sixth Sense tangent
The hosts discuss how the cabinet scene in The Sixth Sense still frightens them.
12:14
Demolition and recurring dreams
Shelby describes the school's demolition in 2008 and her ongoing dreams about it.
16:24
Morbid and postpartum recovery
An anonymous listener explains how using the podcast as a reward helped her cope with postpartum depression.
19:33
The old man with the axe
The listener recounts a 2016 date at a haunted school where an axe-wielding old man turned off her car and chased her friends.
26:03
School for the deaf and blind
Urquhart reads Emma's stories of ghosts at a Staunton school that was once a Civil War hospital.
38:00
The condom-stained college house
Kelley reads six creepy incidents at a college rental house, ending with its destruction by fire.
52:32
Sign-off
The hosts close the episode urging kids to stay in school and dispose of condoms properly.

Key points

What was said, by whom, with the exact words. Timestamps jump to the moment.

Ash Kelley
Kelley asked listeners to submit Halloween-themed listener tales ahead of October.
“that means you need to send us your Halloween listener tales, please”
Listen from 1:50 · Ghost sightings and hauntings
Ash Kelley
Kelley called for a third Monster High movie and criticized whoever cancelled it.
“Make the third Monster High movie. If we can just go off on a quick tangent, please. Who fucked that up?”
Listen from 5:50 · Monster High
Ash Kelley
Kelley said The Sixth Sense frightens her so much she cannot rewatch it.
“I honestly can't even rewatch that movie because it scares the shit out of me”
Listen from 11:22 · The Sixth Sense
Alaina Urquhart
Urquhart said the film scares her and that, as a parent, she can no longer watch how the boy is treated.
“It scares the shit out of me and they're so mean to him. And I don't think I can watch it as a parent anymore”
Listen from 11:26 · The Sixth Sense
Alaina Urquhart
Urquhart joked that every school bathroom is haunted, even newly built ones.
“Oh, every school bathroom is haunted as fuck. Absolutely. Even brand new ones”
Listen from 13:10 · Haunted schools
Alaina Urquhart
Urquhart endorsed the listener's strategy of treating small pleasures like podcasts as rewards for completing tasks.
“This is actually a really smart thing to do too. Yeah. I want to start treating things like a reward to make me do things”
Listen from 18:35 · Postpartum depression
Ash Kelley
Kelley defended crushes as fun, noting that some members of Gen Z view them negatively.
“I think it's become a hot topic, but crushes are fun. Did you guys know that some Gen Z's think crushes are bad?”
Listen from 20:02 · Limerence
Alaina Urquhart
Urquhart described chasing teenagers away as an old-man rite of passage she would embrace herself.
“I would love, if I became an old man, I too would chase kids away from things, I think”
Listen from 25:33
Linked moment · 26:03Skip to 26:03 using a listen link in the info box.
Ash Kelley
Kelley noted that schools and hotels were frequently converted into hospitals during the Civil War era.
“that happened back then, like... with schools and hotels a lot. They would make them into a hospital”
Listen from 27:53 · American Civil War field hospitals
Ash Kelley
Kelley argued the condom stain needed no explanation given the house had been occupied by football players.
“It's a house full of football players. Somebody like threw that condom at somebody else and it staged the wall”
Listen from 49:22
Ash Kelley
Kelley jokingly attributed the college house fire to the cross left on the stove rather than the reported car explosion.
“No, it was the cross on the stove. Yeah, probably. That's what I think”
Listen from 51:52 · Ghost sightings and hauntings

People

In the conversation

Ash KelleyCo-host of the true crime podcast Morbid
Alaina UrquhartCo-host of Morbid, autopsy technician and author of the Butcher novels

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From the publisher

Weirdos! It’s back to school time, so grab some lunch money, don’t forget your homework, and meet us at the bus stop for some listener tales! This time, Deb has collected some scholarly tales that that will have you freaked out AND cackling with laughter. OH! And these tales are BY you FOR you and ALL ABOUT YOU!! Check out the YOUTUBE version is packed with extra Nicholas footage! If you’ve got a listener tale please send it to Deb by emailing us at morbidpodcast@gmail.com with “Listener Tales” somewhere in the subject line, and if you share pictures, please let us know if we can share them with fellow weirdos! :)

Summary, chapters and key points were generated from the episode transcript on September 29, 2026. Quotes are checked word for word against the transcript.

Categories: Society & Culture·Comedy