What if Staying Safe is Keeping You Stuck? Overcoming Self-Doubt with Carlene Marie
Episode of Notes from the Edge · October 23, 2026 · 52 min
Lisa Lacy talks with coach Carlene Marie about self-doubt, perfectionism, people-pleasing, boundaries and rebuilding self-worth after major life transitions.
Summary
Host Lisa Lacy interviewed Carlene Marie, a Master Mindpower coach and author of the book Enough Already, about how self-doubt, overachievement, perfectionism and people-pleasing can become survival identities. Marie described discovering her own master limiting belief of self-doubt and unworthiness through Mind Power training, and explained that the book's title came from phrases girls often absorb in childhood, such as "Enough already, you're too much."
Marie described her coaching process, which revisits the "imprint years" of roughly ages zero to seven, identifies the story implanted then, finds a silver lining in how events happened "for" rather than "to" the client, and ends with forgiveness. She recounted her own transition at 47, when her children left for college and her 25-year marriage ended, which led her to a life coach and later to coaching. Lacy shared her own experience of mental collapse, inpatient rehabilitation, and finding transformational coaching more helpful than clinical therapy.
The two discussed defining principles, passion and purpose; Marie's pre-coaching homework of listing 100 wants and 100 gratitudes; celebrating "micro wins" to prevent burnout; asking for help as a form of strength; and boundaries, which Marie framed as "self-stewardship" using a script of "I'm willing and I need, so I will." Marie described a client who processed being abducted at gunpoint, and closed by citing Carl Jung on making the unconscious conscious and urging listeners to recognize their inherent worth.
Chapters
- 0:04
Introduction and receiving compliments
Lacy introduces Carlene Marie, and Marie describes her lifelong journey toward accepting compliments without deflecting.
- 3:53
Origins of Enough Already
Marie explains how her Mind Power training and coaching high-performing women led to the book about not-enough stories.
- 7:59
The exhausted high performer
Marie discusses being told she was the strong one and how equating worth with achievement collapses during life crises.
- 10:51
Revisiting the imprint years
Marie outlines her process of identifying childhood stories, finding the silver lining, and practicing forgiveness.
- 14:25
Coaching versus therapy and a life transition
Both describe finding coaching more useful than therapy, and Marie recounts her divorce and empty nest at 47.
- 18:15
Alignment: principles, passion and purpose
Marie explains the three P's, passion switches, purpose statements, and her 100 wants and 100 gratitudes exercises.
- 25:38
Burnout and micro wins
Marie argues constant goal-chasing leads to self-abandonment and recommends acknowledging small daily wins.
- 28:50
Asking for help
Marie describes coming to see asking for help as strength rather than weakness.
- 33:16
Boundaries as self-stewardship
Marie presents her "I'm willing and I need, so I will" boundary strategy and discusses over-explaining.
- 40:14
A memorable client breakthrough
Marie recounts guiding a client who had been abducted at gunpoint through release and forgiveness.
- 44:44
Closing questions
Marie shares how to reach her, reflects on setting down the strong-one role, and cites Carl Jung on the unconscious.
Key points
What was said, by whom, with the exact words. Timestamps jump to the moment.
- Carlene Marie
Marie says high-performing women she coaches, despite outward success, consistently share a story of not being enough.
“they would share in some way shape or form their not enough story you name it not fit enough young enough attractive enough”
- Carlene Marie
Marie argues that being hardest on oneself is a self-protection strategy against criticism from others.
“I really think it's a survival strategy a self-protection strategy that I want to be the toughest on myself”
- Carlene Marie
Marie contends that releasing childhood-imprinted stories does not need to be a long or arduous process.
“We think sometimes that the process needs to be long or hard or arduous, and it truly doesn't”
- Carlene Marie
Marie describes forgiveness of self and others as the third part of her transformation process, while stressing that trauma is not minimized.
“I do want to say we're not here to make trauma or abuse, we're not minimalizing that whatsoever”
- Lisa Lacy
Lacy says that after trying many clinical therapies, it was a mentor and transformational coach who helped her move forward.
“It was a mentor. It was a transformational coach that helped me move forward. That's why I became one”
- Carlene Marie
Marie says she found therapy depleting and wanted tools, accountability and a proven way forward instead.
“the therapy was just sitting in it and talking in it. And I found it very depleting”
- Carlene Marie
Marie recounts that her identity shifted when her children left home and her 25-year marriage ended at the same time.
“at that flash point my 25-year marriage came to an end and so my identity and everything that i was in the home”
Linked moment · 20:04Skip to 20:04 using a listen link in the info box.
Carlene MarieMarie argues that one's purpose can change across life stages while core values usually stay fixed.
“our purpose can shift, but most of the time, our principles, our values that we hold dear, those are pretty ingrained”
- Carlene Marie
Marie questions whether self-sacrifice in the name of service is honorable when it leaves a person completely depleted.
“is that that sacrifice truly honoring when we are absolutely depleted and we've got nothing more to give”
- Carlene Marie
Marie recommends acknowledging daily micro wins to prevent burnout and stop high achievers from endlessly moving the goalpost.
“I call those like micro moments of micro wins. And just to be able to get into the practice of doing that even daily can be such a game changer and prevent burnout”
- Carlene Marie
Marie offers a back-pocket boundary script built around stating willingness, a need, and an action.
“I'm willing and I need, so I will. I'm willing to help, but I need advance notice”
- Carlene Marie
Marie frames boundaries as self-stewardship, meaning speaking one's truth without aggression or apology.
“I say that boundaries are self stewardship, that when we can speak our truth without aggression or apology, we are truly stewarding our very best selves”
- Carlene Marie
Marie warns that saying yes when one wants to say no builds resentment that is felt in the body.
“We'll say yes when every ounce of us wants to say no. And over time, that builds so much resentment”
- Carlene Marie
Marie argues that over-explaining is a weaker boundary and often an unconscious reaction.
“it's really common to be able to over-explain is a weaker boundary”
- Carlene Marie
Marie says a good coach should not remain a guide for many years, as the goal is client independence.
“I'm not meant to be the guide for five, 10 years. I wouldn't be doing my job as a coach”
People
In the conversation
- Lisa LacyHost of Notes from the Edge; writer, trauma educator, executive advisor, and transformational coach
- Carlene MarieMaster Mindpower coach, keynote speaker and author of Enough Already
Discussed
- Carl JungSwiss psychiatrist whose idea that every dream figure is the dreamer shaped Lamott's reading of her Havana dream
Topics
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From the publisher
What if the version of you that once kept you safe is now keeping you stuck? Lisa Lacy sits down with Carlene Marie, Master Mindpower Coach and author of Enough Already , to explore how self-doubt, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and overachievement become survival identities, even for people who appear confident and successful. From childhood beliefs about not being enough to major life transitions that challenge our identity, this thought-provoking conversation explores self-worth, burnout, emotional resilience, and rebuilding self-trust. Carlene shares practical strategies for setting healthy boundaries, recognizing unconscious patterns, rediscovering personal purpose, and learning to live authentically without constantly proving our worth. In This Episode: How childhood conditioning and unconscious beliefs create lifelong patterns of self-doubt and people-pleasing. Why perfectionism, overachievement, and constantly proving your worth can lead to burnout and self-abandonment. Rediscovering identity, purpose, and personal values through life’s major transitions. Building self-trust through small daily wins, self-awareness, transformational coaching, and asking for help. Setting healthy boundaries, communicating your needs without apology, and breaking free from survival identities. Connect with Carlene Marie: https://carlenemarie.com Connect with Lisa | INSIDE THE EDGE: https://lisalacy.com/inside-the-edge What did you perform in order to survive? Welcome to the Edge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
Summary, chapters and key points were generated from the episode transcript on October 23, 2026. Quotes are checked word for word against the transcript.