BENNY BLANCO: The Secret to Failing Your Way to Success
Episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty · September 14, 2026 · 1 h 10 min
Producer Benny Blanco tells Jay Shetty about his book F*ck Failure, embracing setbacks, phobias, mental health, marriage to Selena Gomez, and hit-making stories.
Summary
Record producer and songwriter Benny Blanco returned to On Purpose with Jay Shetty to discuss his new book, F*ck Failure. Blanco argued that everyone fails and that failure only matters if one does not learn from it, describing his own "amnesia to failure." He said people fear embarrassment more than failure and urged listeners to take big swings, ignore online commenters, follow their passions, and build momentum through small steps.
Blanco described early setbacks, including feeling he failed to bond with his father as his older brother had, and his parents' worries about his unconventional path from Virginia. He introduced a "success stool" metaphor balancing career, relationships, and health, and spoke about daily habits such as walking and weekly date nights with his wife, Selena Gomez. He discussed his fear of flying, saying he had not flown in eight years before taking a short domestic flight while writing the book.
He shared behind-the-scenes stories: Bruno Mars's path from Elvis impersonator to star, writing "Love Yourself" with Ed Sheeran on a tour bus, being told to sound less like Timbaland and Pharrell, risking his credit on Britney Spears's Circus to visit a girlfriend, fighting for Julia Michaels to release "Issues," and initially doubting "Diamonds" for Rihanna. Blanco said he does not consider lacking a Grammy a failure.
Blanco recounted a breakdown around age 20–21 involving agoraphobia, tics, and anxiety despite career success, which he addressed through cognitive behavioral therapy and boundaries. He stressed time management and saying no, and closed with a Final Five segment on his favorite memory with Gomez, being called the internet's boyfriend, his hopes as a future parent, and what makes a good friend.
Chapters
- 0:23
Introduction and hit catalog
Shetty welcomes Blanco back, lists his hit songs, and Blanco admits hearing his music in public makes him nervous.
- 2:58
I am a failure
Blanco explains why his book opens by having readers declare themselves failures and describes his amnesia to failure.
- 4:46
Embarrassment and early failures
Blanco argues people fear embarrassment most and recounts his relationship with his father and his parents' doubts about his music path.
- 11:47
Tunnel vision and starting momentum
Blanco advises ignoring haters, following one's passion, and starting the train of momentum.
- 15:47
The success stool and relationships
Blanco describes balancing career, family, and health, including habits with Selena Gomez.
- 19:31
Fear of flying
Blanco discusses how his phobia of flying affected his marriage and how he took a short flight for the book.
- 24:36
Bruno Mars and authenticity
Blanco tells Bruno Mars's story of repeated setbacks and hard work.
- 27:47
Writing Love Yourself with Ed Sheeran
Blanco recounts the late-night tour bus session that produced Love Yourself and finding his own sound beyond Timbaland and Pharrell.
- 36:54
Vulnerability and celebrating wins
Blanco talks about taking creative risks with SZA, being vulnerable with Gomez, asking questions, and savoring success.
- 40:36
Boundaries: Britney Spears to Julia Michaels
Blanco describes risking his Circus credit and fighting for Julia Michaels to release Issues.
- 48:48
Grammys, Diamonds, and good ideas
Blanco rejects the Grammy as a measure of success and recounts doubting Diamonds and a friend's one-line songwriting credit.
- 52:13
Mental health breakdown and saying no
Blanco recounts a breakdown at about 20, cognitive behavioral therapy, time management, and the power of saying no.
- 58:58
Why he wrote the book and Final Five
Blanco explains his motivation for the book and answers five closing questions about love, kindness, parenting, and friendship.
Key points
What was said, by whom, with the exact words. Timestamps jump to the moment.
- Benny Blanco
Blanco argues that success is impossible without failures, and failure is only bad when one does not learn from it.
“But you can't be a success story without having all these failures who make you who you are and that you learn from”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco believes people fear embarrassment in front of peers more than failure itself.
“Embarrassment. I think people are so scared to be embarrassed in front of their peers”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco urges parents to let creative children explore rather than forcing traditional paths.
“Let your kid explore. Let your kid like play in a creative sandbox. And if it doesn't work out, they can always figure it out later”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco says he initially aspired to be the biggest rapper in the world and landed in a related field, illustrating the value of simply starting.
“At first, I thought I was going to be the biggest rapper in the entire world. I didn't land there, but I landed somewhere pretty cool”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco argues that people who chase success while neglecting family and health end up with nothing else when they reach the top.
“I think if you focus on building all of those simultaneously, you don't leave one out, then that's where the true success comes”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco says writing the book motivated him to fly for the first time in eight years so he would not be a hypocrite.
“I said, how could I go on and be selling everyone on a book on failures when I failed at something and I haven't done it?”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco contends social media has made people want to be famous for its own sake rather than pursue specific goals.
“I think Instagram, Twitter, or X, whatever it's called, TikTok made people want to accelerate so much”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco describes Bruno Mars as the hardest-working person in music, sometimes reworking a song for years.
“He will work on a song for three years straight, changing the production. New production. Yes. There is nobody in the world that works on their music as hard as he does”
- Jay Shetty
Shetty argues that people fail by imitating others rather than starting as a rough version of themselves.
“If you start as the bad version of yourself, you'll become a phenomenal version of yourself”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco recounts that a line Ed Sheeran spoke about not wanting to write about an ex became a key lyric of Love Yourself.
“I don't want to write a song because I don't want anyone to think that I care because I don't. That became one of the most important lyrics in Love Yourself”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco says he persuaded Sheeran to change the chorus away from profanity so the song could endure as a classic.
“The chorus to that song used to be, you should go and fuck yourself, okay? And I said to him, I don't want it to be fuck yourself”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco says his manager told him to stop imitating Timbaland and Pharrell and find his own sound, which eventually paid off.
“if I wanted a Timbaland or Pharrell production, I would just go to them. I want to know what a Benny production sounds like”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco recounts defying a threat to remove his credit from the Britney Spears album so he could visit his girlfriend, and says nothing happened when he returned.
“I said, fuck you guys. I'm going to do this thing. If you want to take it away, you can take it away”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco says he fought for Julia Michaels to keep Issues as her debut single despite established artists wanting it, and it launched her career.
“there's nothing like breaking a new artist. She was a brand new artist, like plucked out of obscurity”
Linked moment · 49:04Skip to 49:04 using a listen link in the info box.
Benny BlancoBlanco says not having a Grammy does not feel like a failure because others do not define success for him.
“Someone else isn't going to justify what's failure or success to me”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco admits he doubted Diamonds but trusted his collaborators, and it became a number-one hit.
“I remember we got the demo back after Rihanna sang it. And I was like, oh my God, this is so good. How did I not see this?”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco recounts suffering agoraphobia and severe anxiety for about six months around age 20 while his career thrived, which he addressed through CBT.
“I was like, in bed for like six months couldn't get out of my own way. had agoraphobia”
- Benny Blanco
Blanco argues that saying no early is kinder than agreeing and then doing a poor job or dragging one's feet.
“no is actually the nice thing to say in that moment. The power of no is so important, and you have to be confident in yourself to say no”
- Jay Shetty
Shetty argues Blanco's previous viral appearance showed that caring for a partner is not weakness and modeled a different masculinity.
“everyone got to understand what masculinity can look like and what love can look like and that it wasn't this weakness”
People
In the conversation
- Jay ShettyBritish author, podcast host and former monk who hosts On Purpose
- Benny BlancoAmerican record producer and songwriter, co-host of Friends Keep Secrets
Discussed
- Selena GomezAmerican singer and actress named as a client Erin Walsh has styled
- Bruno MarsSinger who quoted Impractical Jokers during a concert
- Ed SheeranEnglish singer-songwriter whose album Benny Blanco was working on
- Justin BieberSinger cast as Cupid in Maisel's Mythoverse film
- Britney SpearsAmerican pop singer cited by Tinashe as an influence
- Julia MichaelsAmerican singer-songwriter
- RihannaSinger who reportedly declined the 2019 Super Bowl halftime show
- SiaAustralian singer-songwriter
- SZAAmerican R&B singer
- TimbalandAmerican record producer
- Pharrell WilliamsAmerican record producer and musician
- Mike PosnerMusician who topped iTunes U as a student, cited by Puri as an example of growth hacking
- John LennonBeatles co-founder and McCartney's songwriting partner
Topics
- F*ck Failure (book)
- Failure and resilience
- Songwriting creative process
- Love Yourself (Justin Bieber song)
- Issues (Julia Michaels song)
- Personal boundaries
- Fear of flying
- Marriage and long-term partnership
- Cognitive behavioral therapy
- Circus (Britney Spears album)
- Diamonds (Rihanna song)
- Masculinity
- Grammy Awards
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From the publisher
Record producer, songwriter, and music executive Benny Blanco joins Jay for an unfiltered, hilarious, and deeply vulnerable conversation about redefining success, overcoming crippling phobias, and why embracing failure is the ultimate secret to unlocking your true creative potential. Benny pulls back the curtain on his chart-topping music career, sharing behind-the-scenes stories with artists like Ed Sheeran, Bruno Mars, and Britney Spears, while diving into his candid new book on mastering life’s setbacks. Together they explore how to overcome the fear of embarrassment, build emotional resilience, protect your mental health while chasing big dreams, and maintain a grounded, loving relationship under the spotlight. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Mazda crafts cars for people who do more than simply move. Visit Mazdausa.com to learn more. Consumer reports does not endorse products or services. PURPOSE10 for 10% at altrarunning.com/onpurpose. Free Shipping and Free 30-Day Trial. JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:58 Looking Back at the Songs That Started It All 03:07 Repeat “I Am a Failure” 04:18 Overcoming Embarrassment and Taking Big Swings 06:28 Early Lessons in Failure 08:20 Choosing Non-Traditional Creative Paths 09:51 Mom’s Dreams Vs Choosing Your Own Path 11:11 Turning Doubt Into Motivation 12:05 Ignoring The Haters and Finding Your Spark 13:39 Turning Small Steps Into Big Momentum 14:59 The Success Stool: Balancing Life’s 3 Pillars 15:37 The Power of Small Daily Habits 17:12 Relationships Need Watering Too 18:46 Facing Failure, Fear and a Phobia of Flying 21:45 Taking Micro-Steps to Conquer Deep Fears 23:04 One Task at a Time 24:04 Bruno Mars’ Journey…
Summary, chapters and key points were generated from the episode transcript on October 25, 2026. Quotes are checked word for word against the transcript.