Marriage and long-term partnership

Adams says he avoids remarriage to avoid divorce and custody disputes late in life.

“I don't want to be getting divorced at 60 and going through split custody and having custody arrangements with my kids mid 60s”

Digital Social Hour: Dating Coach Reveals What Most Men Refuse To Accept | DSH #2035 (Jun 26, 2026) · Listen from 57:07

Adams claims home remodeling increases the likelihood of divorce.

“If you remodel a house, you have a high chance of increasing your chance of divorce”

Digital Social Hour: Dating Coach Reveals What Most Men Refuse To Accept | DSH #2035 (Jun 26, 2026) · Listen from 26:01

Adams applies the law of diminishing returns to relationships, arguing their value declines past a certain point.

“most people don't recognize when this point is, is a point of no return. The returns start to decrease the longer you stay in it”

Digital Social Hour: Dating Coach Reveals What Most Men Refuse To Accept | DSH #2035 (Jun 26, 2026) · Listen from 19:00

Adams claims most people in the 1980s and 1990s were married by their mid-twenties.

“I would say in the 80s and 90s, 70, 80 percent of people were married by 24, 25”

Digital Social Hour: Dating Coach Reveals What Most Men Refuse To Accept | DSH #2035 (Jun 26, 2026) · Listen from 8:23

Sexton argues that women have always been the gatekeepers of sex, using leg shaving as an example.

“have always been the gatekeepers of sex, like 100% of the time. And the example I've always given to this is that women don't like shaving their legs”

Modern Wisdom: James Sexton, Matt McCusker & Rick Glassman - Mostly Wise #4 - #1156 (Sep 28, 2026) · Listen from 1:42:28

Sexton recounts a therapist advising him never to yell at a teenager because it signals loss of control.

“whatever's coming out of your mouth, if you're yelling, what you're telling a teenager is I'm out of control”

Modern Wisdom: James Sexton, Matt McCusker & Rick Glassman - Mostly Wise #4 - #1156 (Sep 28, 2026) · Listen from 1:36:48

Sexton argues couples should openly name changes in their relationship, distinguishing designed relationships from ones on default.

“I think it's the difference between a relationship that's designed and a relationship that's on default”

Modern Wisdom: James Sexton, Matt McCusker & Rick Glassman - Mostly Wise #4 - #1156 (Sep 28, 2026) · Listen from 1:15:02

Tatkin argues energy conservation makes partners automate each other, so rituals and curiosity must be deliberately built.

“Curiosity is the flame. Curiosity is the dopamine”

Modern Wisdom: Couples Therapist: Why Your Brain Turns Your Partner Into An Enemy - Stan Tatkin -#1146 (Sep 5, 2026) · Listen from 53:53

Tatkin argues couples need a shared purpose and vision not based on feelings in order to survive long term.

“you have to have first a shared purpose, a reason for being in this relationship, not based on feelings”

Modern Wisdom: Couples Therapist: Why Your Brain Turns Your Partner Into An Enemy - Stan Tatkin -#1146 (Sep 5, 2026) · Listen from 4:15

Tatkin states that love is not sufficient to maintain a relationship because feelings fluctuate and definitions differ.

“Absolutely not. No feeling is, because feelings come and go. And besides, who knows what your definition of love is?”

Modern Wisdom: Couples Therapist: Why Your Brain Turns Your Partner Into An Enemy - Stan Tatkin -#1146 (Sep 5, 2026) · Listen from 3:39

Brown describes her household as family-focused rather than organized around either the children or the parents.

“It's not the kids at the parents' cost or the parents at the kids' cost. It's the family. And it is remarkable”

The Tim Ferriss Show: #880: Relationship Tools That Work — Esther Perel, Brené Brown, Dr. Sue Johnson, Terry Real, and More on Conflict, Repair, and Lasting Love (Aug 19, 2026) · Listen from 11:00

Brown says that when the couple's combined energy falls below 100 they sit down and make a plan of kindness.

“So we know that we have to sit down at the table anytime we have less than 100 combined. and figure out a plan of kindness toward each other”

The Tim Ferriss Show: #880: Relationship Tools That Work — Esther Perel, Brené Brown, Dr. Sue Johnson, Terry Real, and More on Conflict, Repair, and Lasting Love (Aug 19, 2026) · Listen from 9:10

Brown rejects the idea that marriage is a 50-50 split, saying she and her husband instead quantify their available energy.

“So everyone says marriage should be 50-50. It's the biggest crock of bullshit I've ever heard. It's never 50-50”

The Tim Ferriss Show: #880: Relationship Tools That Work — Esther Perel, Brené Brown, Dr. Sue Johnson, Terry Real, and More on Conflict, Repair, and Lasting Love (Aug 19, 2026) · Listen from 8:34

Vartanian argues that the common framing of relationships as 'hard work' is destructive to how people approach them.

“i think it's very destructive to the way we look at doing the work in relationship and why people are like oh it's hard work”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 40:14

Vartanian argues that the romantic side of a relationship must be actively nurtured or it will die.

“Lovership actually needs to be cultivated. It's like a plant. If you don't feed it, if you don't talk to it”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 35:01

Chewning recommends a pastor's wife lead with abundant verbal encouragement, citing Tim Keller's ratio.

“Keller used to talk about a ratio. He used to be like, can we just try like 10 to 1?”

Live Free with Josh Howerton: How to Find a GOOD Church (and When to Leave) ft. Ed Newton & Matt Chewning | Live Free with Josh Howerton (Sep 30, 2026) · Listen from 1:09:20

Chewning says his wife's corrections have often proven to be what he needed to hear.

“There's been so many times in my own life where my wife has called me on things or corrected me on things in which I did not want to hear”

Live Free with Josh Howerton: How to Find a GOOD Church (and When to Leave) ft. Ed Newton & Matt Chewning | Live Free with Josh Howerton (Sep 30, 2026) · Listen from 56:32

Howerton recommends a monthly date-night exchange framing correction positively.

“She asked me, what are three ways I've been blessing you? And what's one way I could bless you more?”

Live Free with Josh Howerton: How to Find a GOOD Church (and When to Leave) ft. Ed Newton & Matt Chewning | Live Free with Josh Howerton (Sep 30, 2026) · Listen from 1:08:14

Howerton advises wives to change husbands chiefly through respect and encouragement.

“You can't disrespect a man into respectability, so how do you change him? You give him a crown and he'll become a king”

Live Free with Josh Howerton: How to Find a GOOD Church (and When to Leave) ft. Ed Newton & Matt Chewning | Live Free with Josh Howerton (Sep 30, 2026) · Listen from 1:03:53

Spira argues that disagreements occur between minds, not beings, and need not become conflict when negotiated from shared being.

“Disagreements are always between minds. Two beings never disagree. The being never disagrees with anything”

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown: Part Two: You Have Never Seen Reality: Discover Who You Actually Are in Only Two Minutes | Rupert Spira (Sep 30, 2026) · Listen from 19:57

Spira defines love as the felt recognition of shared being and argues it transforms arguments between partners.

“That's what love is, the felt recognition that we are one, that we share our being”

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown: Part Two: You Have Never Seen Reality: Discover Who You Actually Are in Only Two Minutes | Rupert Spira (Sep 30, 2026) · Listen from 16:37

Chapman recounts that a friend's question about who she would need to become redirected her from divorce toward changing herself.

“And she said, who is the woman you would need to be to call forward that man? And my stomach dropped”

The Tim Ferriss Show: #880: Relationship Tools That Work — Esther Perel, Brené Brown, Dr. Sue Johnson, Terry Real, and More on Conflict, Repair, and Lasting Love (Aug 19, 2026) · Listen from 50:39

Chapman says she and her husband have three times deliberately ended the existing form of their relationship in order to choose a new one.

“We've basically killed it off. Just said the relationship as it was is done. Now let's just check and see what is the relationship that wants to happen moving forward”

The Tim Ferriss Show: #880: Relationship Tools That Work — Esther Perel, Brené Brown, Dr. Sue Johnson, Terry Real, and More on Conflict, Repair, and Lasting Love (Aug 19, 2026) · Listen from 47:25

Sedaris advises never discussing the relationship with one's partner, crediting this for his 36 years with Hugh.

“Never talk about your relationship to that other person. Never. Never talk about it”

Pod Save America: David Sedaris is Mostly Bark, Some Bite (Jun 14, 2026) · Listen from 51:06

Sedaris says marrying Hugh was a purely legal and financial matter that held no emotional meaning for him.

“It didn't mean anything to me to be married. I didn't choke up. It was just a legal thing to me”

Pod Save America: David Sedaris is Mostly Bark, Some Bite (Jun 14, 2026) · Listen from 50:44

Stephen Lee said his mother admitted she would not have supported his relationship had she known Helen's mother was his father's former love.

“she later admitted to me that if she had known this from the very beginning, she would have not supported Helen and me”

This American Life: 489: No Coincidence, No Story! (Oct 19, 2026) · Listen from 22:32

Slay argues the key to marriage is commitment to stay through fights rather than wanting out.

“I think the key is going, I'm in this for the long haul, no matter what”

The Shawn Ryan Show: #344 Dusty Slay - Moon Landing Conspiracies, Flat Earth, Aliens and the Nephilim (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 36:36