Life can be so awkward. Here's how to embrace the embarrassing
Episode of TED Radio Hour · September 25, 2026 · 50 min
Manoush Zomorodi talks with Ty Tashiro, Liana Finck, Melissa Dahl and Erin Chen about awkwardness, embarrassment, cringe and talking openly about sex.
Summary
This TED Radio Hour episode, hosted by Manoush Zomorodi and originally broadcast in April 2024, explored awkwardness as a part of life that might be embraced rather than avoided. Psychologist Ty Tashiro recounted being knocked unconscious during a seventh-grade schoolyard wrestling reenactment and described how he studied socially adept peers. He argued that awkward people share social skill deficits, communication difficulties and obsessive interests, that awkwardness lies on a continuum with autistic traits, and that the hyper-focus of awkward people correlates with extraordinary achievement.
New Yorker cartoonist Liana Finck described using drawing to process uncomfortable social moments and discussed her graphic-novel adaptation of the Book of Genesis, in which God is an insecure, self-conscious woman. Finck said the project gave her a sense of belonging to her religion and culture, though she said she does not believe in God, and she noted she relates most to mild autism.
Journalist Melissa Dahl discussed reading her seventh-grade diary on stage at Mortified while researching her book Cringeworthy. She argued that self-conscious emotions prompt questions about identity and that cringing at one's past self signals growth, and she described turning embarrassment over a recent layoff into a widely viewed LinkedIn post. Finally, sex and relationship counselor Erin Chen argued in her TED talk that people should talk about sex as matter-of-factly as they discuss food preferences, crediting a middle school teacher who gave students permission to be curious.
Chapters
- 0:50
Ty Tashiro's middle school wrestling mishap
Tashiro recounts sitting at the nerd table and being knocked unconscious during a schoolyard wrestling reenactment.
- 5:47
The science of awkward people
Tashiro outlines the traits of awkward people, the continuum with autism, and his spotlight analogy.
- 14:49
Why awkwardness can be awesome
Tashiro explains awkward people's need for predictability and links obsessive interests to extraordinary achievement.
- 22:12
Liana Finck's awkward cartoons
Finck describes drawing as her first language and her discomfort with unspoken social rules.
- 25:01
An awkward, self-conscious God
Finck presents her graphic-novel retelling of Genesis with a fallible female God and reflects on belonging and neurodiversity.
- 34:47
Melissa Dahl reads her teenage diary
Dahl recounts reading her seventh-grade diary at Mortified and how researching Cringeworthy changed her view of awkwardness.
- 38:52
Cringe as a sign of growth
Dahl argues self-conscious emotions reveal who we want to be and describes turning a layoff into a viral LinkedIn post.
- 44:16
Erin Chen on normalizing sex talk
Chen's TED talk argues people should discuss sex with the same ease as food preferences, giving themselves permission to be curious.
Key points
What was said, by whom, with the exact words. Timestamps jump to the moment.
- Ty Tashiro
Tashiro argues that awkward people are characterized by social skill deficits, communication difficulties, and obsessive interests.
“So awkward people have social skill deficits. They have a hard time knowing what's expected in the social situation and also have a hard time executing the right social skill”
- Ty Tashiro
Tashiro says many parents report children near the 95th percentile of autistic traits who cannot get help because they do not meet the diagnostic threshold.
“my son or daughter would be at like that 95th percentile of autism characteristics and they can never qualify for a diagnosis”
- Ty Tashiro
Tashiro argues that awkward people are not autistic, but autistic and awkward traits lie on a continuum without a clean cutoff.
“And so awkward people aren't autistic. I don't think it would be good for us to say that they're on the autism spectrum. But it is the case that it's not a clean cutoff”
- Ty Tashiro
Tashiro uses an analogy in which awkward people see the social stage spotlighted slightly off-center, missing key social information but gaining unusual perspective.
“awkward people, by comparison, see that same stage not broadly illuminated, but spotlighted. And to make things interesting, that spotlight tends to fall a little left of center”
- Ty Tashiro
Tashiro says awkward people are routine-focused and can feel panicked when their structures are disrupted.
“And although any of us can get a little frustrated when our routines get interrupted, awkward people can get really bent out of shape about that”
- Ty Tashiro
Tashiro claims there is a robust correlation between awkward characteristics and striking talent or extraordinary achievement.
“there's this curious correlation that's pretty robust between awkward characteristics and what psychologists would call striking talent or extraordinary achievement”
- Ty Tashiro
Tashiro recommends his parents' advice that awkward people should figure out how to fit in without losing themselves.
“hey, Ty, so the key is figuring out how to fit in without losing yourself. And I think that's such great advice”
- Liana Finck
Finck says her problem with the God of the Old Testament is that he is too confident, seeming more like a king than a creator.
“My problem with God is that he's too confident. For me, creation is an act of solving problems, of figuring things out”
- Liana Finck
Finck says finishing her Genesis adaptation gave her a new connection to the God of the Torah and a sense of belonging.
“When I finished my book, I did feel a new connection to the God of the Torah and a new sense of belonging to my religion”
- Liana Finck
Finck says that although undiagnosed, she relates most to mild autism, a diagnosis she believes was not available in her childhood.
“I haven't been diagnosed, but the thing I relate to the most is mild autism”
- Liana Finck
Finck says she knows the social rules but finds they don't make sense to her and works hard to follow them.
“I feel like I know the rules, but I feel intensely that they don't actually make sense to me and that I'm working really hard to follow them”
- Melissa Dahl
Dahl argues that revealing embarrassing parts of ourselves builds connection, citing research that people like those who spill coffee on themselves.
“we think that like presenting this like perfect version of ourselves to the world is the thing that's giving the good impression, but really people tend to like the people who spill coffee on themselves”
- Melissa Dahl
Dahl argues that self-conscious emotions like shame, embarrassment and awkwardness prompt important questions about identity and should be given space.
“They're asking you, who are you? How do others perceive you? And who do you want to be?”
- Melissa Dahl
Dahl contends that cringing at one's past behavior is a sign of personal growth.
“if you're not cringing at things you did, you know, 10, 5 years ago, last week, then— You're not, like, growing as a person”
- Melissa Dahl
Dahl recounts that her LinkedIn post about being laid off brought many opportunities despite her embarrassment while posting it.
“And I got a ton of great opportunities from that, despite the fact that like while I was posting it, I was just feeling so just embarrassed and self-conscious”
Linked moment · 45:02Skip to 45:02 using a listen link in the info box.
Erin ChenChen argues that her sex ed teacher's key contribution was treating sex matter-of-factly, giving students permission to be curious.
“And what I mean by normal is she gave us permission. Permission to be curious, permission to inquire, permission to treat sex like it's normal”
- Erin Chen
Chen says research shows similar brain areas are stimulated by pleasure from food and sex, supporting her analogy for discussing sexual preferences.
“research conducted on our brain patterns show that when it comes to our pleasure response to food and to sex, similar parts of our brains are stimulated”
- Erin Chen
Chen recounts that her traditional Taiwanese parents initially opposed her career in sexual wellness but came around through conversation over time.
“My father actually told me that he might have to lie to his friends about what it is that I do”
People
In the conversation
- Manoush ZomorodiHost of NPR's TED Radio Hour
- Ty TashiroPsychologist and social scientist, author of Awkward: The Science of Why We're Socially Awkward and Why That's Awesome
- Liana FinckNew Yorker cartoonist and author
- Melissa DahlJournalist and author of Cringeworthy: A Theory of Awkwardness
- Erin ChenSex and relationship counselor and educator
Discussed
- Ms. MarzialliErin Chen's middle school sex education teacher
Topics
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From the publisher
Forgetting a name, a poorly executed hug, the 7th grade — awkwardness is part of our lives whether we like it or not. But what if we put the embarrassment aside and embraced our awkward selves? Guests include social scientist Ty Tashiro, cartoonist Liana Finck, journalist Melissa Dahl and sex and relationship counselor Erin Chen. Original broadcast date: April 19, 2024. Support public media with NPR+ and enjoy perks for over 25 podcasts like this one. This show’s perks include sponsor-free listening. Learn more at plus.npr.org . See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences. NPR Privacy Policy
Summary, chapters and key points were generated from the episode transcript on October 24, 2026. Quotes are checked word for word against the transcript.