Gender roles in marriage

Vartanian says she performed hyper-independence to survive and found peace and freedom after learning to accept help.

“i was very much performing the i'm fine i got it i can do everything i'm independent i don't need anyone”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 47:21

Vartanian says that while supporting Nielsen she over-functioned and piled more responsibility onto herself.

“I'm over functioning. I'm over producing. I'm like, I got it. I got this. I got that. Don't worry”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 14:24

Vartanian recounts that she gradually felt she was losing herself in the marriage and becoming a muted version of herself.

“Like I felt like a muted version of myself and I'm a pretty big boisterous, like energetic person, you know?”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 3:48

Lacy shares that as the sole financial provider she tried to do everything herself until she had a mental health collapse.

“I was the sole financial provider. I was like superwoman, could do it all until I eventually had a full mental health collapse”

Notes from the Edge: How do you stop performing in your marriage? Somatic Healing in Intimate Relationships with Natalie Vartanian & Glenn Nielsen (Oct 1, 2026) · Listen from 16:06