What Kelly McDaniel has said about Attachment theory

McDaniel argues that the attachment drive is biologically stronger than the drive to eat.

“We are more biologically wired to attach to someone than to eat. That's how biological this is”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: You’re Not Broken: Why You People-Please, Feel Anxious, & Never Feel Good Enough – and How to Heal (May 21, 2026) · Listen from 10:31

McDaniel says a child's efforts to win maternal love end up forming the child's personality.

“We'll go through whatever psychobiological gymnastics we can. That ends up forming our personality”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: You’re Not Broken: Why You People-Please, Feel Anxious, & Never Feel Good Enough – and How to Heal (May 21, 2026) · Listen from 11:32

McDaniel says early childhood stress hormones damage the brain's memory center, so lacking childhood memories can signal a stressful childhood.

“But the memories literally are not encoded into the memory center because there was too much toxic anxiety going on in childhood”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: You’re Not Broken: Why You People-Please, Feel Anxious, & Never Feel Good Enough – and How to Heal (May 21, 2026) · Listen from 45:35