Lucy Hale

Hale advises that there is no single correct route to sobriety and that relapse is not disqualifying.

“I've tried every way and I've found my way”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 44:46

Hale says her drinking and her music career coincided, which is why she has avoided returning to music.

“I had to cancel my tour because of drinking um and which is why I've never really approached music again”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 38:04

Hale says she never had a normal drinking experience and was drawn to the feeling rather than the taste of alcohol.

“I never understood like why someone would drink a glass of wine for the taste of it. Like I hated the taste of it. I loved the feeling”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 36:22

Hale says she is over four and a half years sober and that her first year felt easy before repressed material surfaced.

“I'm in year, I'm like a little over four and a half years sober. And the first year was amazing. It was like easy breezy”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 32:29

Hale says healing is not a finite task but ongoing unpacking, and that she can now see drinking as something that kept her going.

“you don't just do the work. I hate that saying, but like do the work, do the healing, and your life is just like shiny, sparkly, wonderful”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 29:01

Hale describes seeking out and apologizing to people she hurt, saying chance encounters allowed her to make amends.

“I had a list of people I really wanted to apologize to. And I would just run into them. And I'd get to apologize to them”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 25:43

Hale says she previously equated love with self-sacrifice and lost her identity in codependent relationships.

“I always thought love was self-sacrificing. I thought it was like going to the ends of the earth and, oh, they don't love me. Well, maybe I should try harder, be more”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 1:09:02

Hale says her current relationship, begun via a blind date at 36, is her first genuinely healthy partnership.

“I would say it's the first real healthy partnership I've ever been in. So talk about late bloomer. I met him when I was 36”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 1:05:52

Hale says she was afraid of being alone in her twenties and derived self-worth from who wanted to date her.

“I was always with someone in my 20s. I was so afraid to be alone. And I found a lot of self-worth from who I was dating”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 46:39

Hale disagrees with the idea that people must be whole before growing in partnership.

“It is definitely possible to grow within partnership. I think that's like a narrative where like you need to wait until and I'm like, I actually disagree”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 49:18

Hale recommends reframing envy as fuel rather than suppressing it.

“I go, oh, wow, look at what they did. I want to do that. That's amazing. Good for them. I don't want to take that from them, but I want to do something like that”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 13:54

Hale says shaming and suppressing her natural intensity caused her lasting distress and that the real work is liking disowned parts of oneself.

“dulling that down and having shame about that caused me a lot of distress and pain in my life”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 6:39

Hale says the egg freezing process surfaced limiting beliefs about her age, marital status and lovability.

“I'm getting older. Why am I not married? Why don't I have kids? Am I lovable?”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 1:04:20

Hale says she froze her eggs about a year earlier while single and describes it as the most empowering thing she has done.

“I will say it was the most empowering thing in the world for me, especially doing it alone”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 1:03:10

Hale recounts that a comment about her face during the first season of Pretty Little Liars created an insecurity she still fixates on.

“something was pointed out about my face and i remember i had never noticed that about my face before To this day, I won't say what it is, but to this day, I still hyper focus on that”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 22:53

Hale says the pressure to look a certain way came from society and herself rather than from producers of her shows.

“there wasn't any pressure for me to from producers or anything to look a specific way. It was more a societal point of view, I think”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 21:46

Hale proposes a law requiring everyone to spend an hour a day, without distraction, focusing on loving themselves.

“for an hour a day, each person has to, without distraction, love themselves, like focus on what they love about themselves”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 1:19:36

Hale says she uses personal signs to make decisions and declines to act when the sign does not appear.

“If I don't see it, I don't make the decision. And it really is as simple as that”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 1:14:22

Hale defends online dating, saying she met good people there and that a person's match will find them regardless of method.

“I think a lot of people want to shame the online dating world, but, like, your person's going to find you”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 1:06:27

Hale recounts waking from a blackout in a Nashville hotel and going to rehab instead of performing at the Grand Ole Opry, cancelling her tour.

“I went to rehab instead that morning I said I called my manager and I said I'm really scared I don't want to stop drinking but I know I have to stop drinking”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 38:04

Hale argues public figures serve as blank pages onto which audiences project their own issues, and criticizes renewed scrutiny of women's bodies.

“people in the public eye are a blank page for people to project their own stuff onto”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 23:30

Hale says she needs more solitude than most people and gets her insights alone, though she recognizes a fine line with isolation.

“I feel like I get my most insights or downloads or creativity in solitude and I feel like I need more solitude than most people”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 17:06

Hale argues comparison, amplified by social media, pulls people out of their own path.

“comparison is going to snatch you right out of your own alignment”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 11:16

Hale says she has questioned whether her desire for milestones like children comes from herself or from societal expectation.

“do I only want those things because society tells me I need to have those things or are those actual things that I want?”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 3:42

Hale argues astrology cannot predict the future but provides a framework for self-understanding.

“I don't think astrology can predict your future, but I think it gives you a toolbox to be like, oh, that's why this is so hard for me to grapple with”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty: LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.” (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 1:55