What Mel Robbins has said about Me, we, them framework

Robbins argues that both people in a relationship contribute to its dynamic, including through one's own people-pleasing.

“When you're in a relationship that doesn't work, there are two people in the relationship contributing to the dynamic”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: Let Them: How to Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 1:12

Robbins recommends a conversation formula taught by therapist Terry Real built around what happened, the story one tells oneself, and what one needs.

“mom, this is what happened. This is the story I'm telling myself, and this is what I need from you. That's it”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: Let Them: How to Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 9:52

Robbins urges listeners to replace the belief that others should do something with asking whether they could.

“from this point forward, I want you to stop thinking they should and start asking if they could”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: Let Them: How to Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 32:57

Robbins recounts that therapy helped her realize a person she struggled with for years was not capable of change due to mental illness.

“it occurred to me through talking to my therapist that this person is not capable of treating me a different way”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: Let Them: How to Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power (Sep 21, 2026) · Listen from 39:59