Sabrina Zohar
Dating and relationship coach, author of Why Am I Like This?, and host of the Sabrina Zohar Show
Sabrina Zohar (Dating and relationship coach, author of Why Am I Like This?, and host of the Sabrina Zohar Show) has appeared as a guest on 1 episode in TMT. Topics they speak about most include Attachment theory, Dating standards, Personal boundaries.
In their words
Positions and remarks grouped by topic, each with the exact quote and where it was said.
Attachment theory
Zohar advises against asking about attachment style on a date, arguing that people self-identify poorly and that attachment styles are fluid.
“My least favorite question to ask on a date. People do it all the time. What's your attachment style? First of all, people are terrible at self-identifying”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 39:42
Zohar explains that avoidant partners return after a breakup because distance removes the triggering stimulus.
“Do you want to know why avoidant people come back? Because they have space from the stimulus”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 34:39
Zohar argues that anxious and avoidant people need each other because each style contains elements of the other.
“Anxious and avoidant people need each other. So anxious people are also avoidant and avoidant people are also anxious”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 34:33
Zohar argues that people often mistake familiar relational dynamics for safety because familiarity reflects how they kept themselves safe in childhood.
“is familiar familiar because it feels good or is familiar because that's just how you've kept yourself safe in the past?”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 3:20
Other remarks
Zohar recommends taking 60 seconds before responding so the nervous system can regulate.
“Give yourself the grace and the beauty of having a moment to defuse, allow your nervous system to regulate so that you can access your prefrontal cortex”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 1:21:54
Zohar recounts her brother's advice framing a breakup as months of discomfort versus a lifetime of it.
“do you want to be uncomfortable for the next six to eight months or do you want to be uncomfortable for the rest of your life?”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 27:54
Zohar argues that love alone is insufficient and that proximity and timing matter more.
“Love, I wish it was enough. It never will be. It never has been. Proximity and timing matter so much more than love”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 27:28
Dating standards
Zohar recommends asking on a first date how the last relationship ended, how the person handles conflict, and how a relationship fits into their life.
“How did your last relationship end and what did it teach you about yourself? How do you handle conflict?”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 1:19:42
Zohar urges daters to discuss non-negotiables such as children, politics, and religion early rather than avoiding them on first dates.
“Please stop listening to anybody on the Internet that is telling you to not talk about politics or religion or kids or marriage on a first date”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 49:22
Personal boundaries
Zohar distinguishes boundaries, which are flexible and keep people in, from walls, which are fear-based and keep people out.
“So to me, boundaries keep people in your life, right?”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 13:55
Zohar argues that boundaries should be set incrementally because confidence follows action rather than preceding it.
“Confidence is built after you do something and realize you're okay. It doesn't come before”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 11:42
Still face experiment
Zohar claims that parental Botox use can impair children's ability to read facial expressions.
“So kids grow up and then they think when you make a face at them that you're mad at them”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 5:49
Zohar cites the still face experiment as showing that nonverbal infants form attachment responses based on caregiver attunement.
“what that really shows us is that we think kids are like these little blobs, right? Oh, they don't hear, they don't understand verbiage or language”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 6:27
Self-compassion
Zohar recounts nearly being kidnapped at age seven and being dismissed by her parents, and says healing came from validating herself rather than seeking their acknowledgment.
“I don't need my mom or dad to tell me what happened. I needed to go back and say, you saved my life”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 1:08:56
Therapy speak
Zohar warns that some people use therapy language to deflect accountability onto their partners.
“Have you ever heard someone go, well, that's just my boundary. That's how I am. No, you triggered me. They're using therapy to avoid accountability”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 1:10:56
Situationships
Zohar says that in situationships one person benefits from the other's silence and low self-esteem.
“One person in the situationship is benefiting from the fact that the other one's silent and the other one has such low self-esteem”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 1:02:37
Codependency and love addiction
Zohar argues that people chase those who don't want them because winning that person's affection feels like it would heal childhood wounds.
“there's a part of us that is hoping that if we can get them to like us, that'll heal every wound that we've ever had”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 59:00
People pleasing
Zohar contends that people pleasing can be unintentionally manipulative because it is driven by fear rather than authenticity.
“people pleasing can be very manipulative, not intentionally. It's not like you're doing this on purpose to hurt somebody intentionally”
On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You (Oct 7, 2026) · Listen from 15:48
Appearances
Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want YouOn Purpose with Jay Shetty · Oct 7, 2026 · 1 h 26 min
Jay Shetty talks with relationship coach Sabrina Zohar about how childhood attachment shapes dating patterns, boundaries versus walls, anxious-avoidant dynamics, and chasing unavailable people.
Often appears with
- Jay Shetty · 1 shared episode