What Stan Tatkin has said about Marriage and long-term partnership
3 quotes · 1 episode · Sep 5, 2026
Stan Tatkin, American psychologist, couples therapist and author, founder of the PACT Institute, has been quoted on Marriage and long-term partnership 3 times in 1 episode of Modern Wisdom, most recently on September 5, 2026. Each quote below is verbatim and links to the moment it was said.
In their words
Tatkin states that love is not sufficient to maintain a relationship because feelings fluctuate and definitions differ.
“Absolutely not. No feeling is, because feelings come and go. And besides, who knows what your definition of love is?”
Modern Wisdom: Couples Therapist: Why Your Brain Turns Your Partner Into An Enemy - Stan Tatkin -#1146 (Sep 5, 2026) · Listen from 3:39
Tatkin argues couples need a shared purpose and vision not based on feelings in order to survive long term.
“you have to have first a shared purpose, a reason for being in this relationship, not based on feelings”
Modern Wisdom: Couples Therapist: Why Your Brain Turns Your Partner Into An Enemy - Stan Tatkin -#1146 (Sep 5, 2026) · Listen from 4:15
Tatkin argues energy conservation makes partners automate each other, so rituals and curiosity must be deliberately built.
“Curiosity is the flame. Curiosity is the dopamine”
Modern Wisdom: Couples Therapist: Why Your Brain Turns Your Partner Into An Enemy - Stan Tatkin -#1146 (Sep 5, 2026) · Listen from 53:53
Episodes
Couples Therapist: Why Your Brain Turns Your Partner Into An Enemy - Stan Tatkin -#1146Modern Wisdom · Sep 5, 2026 · 1 h 9 min
Couples therapist Stan Tatkin tells Chris Williamson why attachment biology, threat memory and the absence of explicit agreements wreck long-term relationships.
Others on Marriage and long-term partnership
- Greg Adams · 4 quotes
- James Sexton · 3 quotes
- Brené Brown · 3 quotes
- Rupert Spira · 2 quotes
- Natalie Vartanian · 2 quotes
- Josh Howerton · 2 quotes
- Matt Chewning · 2 quotes
- David Sedaris · 2 quotes
Stan Tatkin on other topics
- Conflict repair in relationships · 5 quotes
- Relationship agreements and social contracts · 5 quotes
- Attachment theory · 3 quotes
- Memory reconstruction and unreliability · 2 quotes
- Texting and digital communication in relationships · 1 quote
- Israeli–Palestinian conflict · 1 quote
- Resentment in relationships · 1 quote
- Co-regulation · 1 quote