Behavior change

Dolly ChughSocial psychologist, behavioral scientist and professor at NYU Stern School of Business

• Chugh states there are only three things you can do to help someone change and that you cannot make anyone change.

  “You can model change. You can invite change. You can reward change. But you cannot make anyone change”

  The Mel Robbins Podcast: Stop Wasting Your Time: How to Deal With People Who Won’t Change & What to Do Instead (Aug 27, 2026) · Listen from 32:39

• Chugh recommends ending each day by asking what you learned and whether you tried your best rather than whether you succeeded.

  “Not did I get it right or wrong? It's what did I learn and did I try my best?”

  The Mel Robbins Podcast: Stop Wasting Your Time: How to Deal With People Who Won’t Change & What to Do Instead (Aug 27, 2026) · Listen from 26:57

• Chugh says most mental activity is small automatic thoughts rather than conscious ones, citing a study of roughly 11 million thoughts in a finger snap.

  “in that snap of the fingers, 11 million... little tea thoughts. They say maybe like 40 big tea thoughts, actual thoughts”

  The Mel Robbins Podcast: Stop Wasting Your Time: How to Deal With People Who Won’t Change & What to Do Instead (Aug 27, 2026) · Listen from 8:15