Julie Smith

Smith argues that confidence is a byproduct of repeated action because the brain learns from evidence.

“And that's what you need is your brain learns through evidence of action. So you've got to kind of build up as many of those experiences as you can”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 40:25

Smith explains that socially anxious people focus inward on how they are perceived, and advises redirecting attention to others.

“when you're socially anxious, your focus will be inward. It will be on how are other people perceiving me?”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 38:05

Smith describes reframing her cancer diagnosis by adopting the mindset of a predator rather than prey.

“this cancer isn't coming after me. I'm coming after it. You better watch out”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 18:56

Drawing on her own diagnosis, Smith urges people not to delay getting health concerns checked.

“anyone out there who has a kind of health concern and is tempted to put it off, don't, just do it”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 18:23

Smith says avoiding feared things feels like relief but worsens fear over time.

“avoidance of the thing that you fear, it lies to us. So it tells us that we are making everything better, but it makes fear worse over time”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 1:04:37

Smith argues that decisions based on comfort shrink one's life, while decisions based on values lead somewhere meaningful.

“if you make decisions based on comfort and discomfort, it's not going to lead you anywhere meaningful. Your life's just going to shrink”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 1:02:27

Smith rejects the social-media idea that people must be fully healed before entering a relationship.

“you've got to be healed before you get into a relationship. Oh my God. Like, when are you healed?”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 53:05

Smith links excessive focus on the past to depression and on the future to anxiety, recommending present-moment attention.

“If your attention is focused on the past, too much, you will get depressed and you will get miserable”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 47:27

Smith recommends tackling fears via a graded hierarchy, beginning with the least frightening manageable challenge and repeating it.

“you don't start at the top, you start at the bottom. So you start with a thing that feels kind of manageable, but a challenge, and you repeat it as much as you possibly can”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 37:03

Smith contends that stopping comparison is impossible and that the real problem is comparing oneself with the wrong people.

“Often the problem is not that you're comparing, it's that you're making the wrong comparisons that's going to lead you down the wrong path”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 30:11

Smith argues that unaddressed resentment destroys relationships and usually signals unheld boundaries or a lack of gratitude.

“resentment will just destroy a relationship if you allow it to continue”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 29:00

Smith compares engaging with one's inner emotional world to a sauna: beneficial, but harmful if one stays too long.

“your inner world is a bit like a sauna. There are benefits to being there, but only if you don't stay too long”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 25:52

Smith argues that people cannot control which thoughts arise but can choose which ones receive their attention, likening attention to a spotlight on a stage.

“So it's this idea that your attention is like a spotlight. And if all your kind of thoughts were actors on the stage, you've got control of the spotlight”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 13:57

Smith cites the statistic that one in four people will experience a mental health problem within a given year.

“one in four people will experience a mental health problem at some point this year”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 10:45

Smith says she wrote Open When because people in crisis need immediate direction rather than advice about practices they should have started earlier.

“If you're in the thick of it and you're in a crisis, the last thing you need to hear is, well, you probably should have started practicing mindfulness six months ago”

The Mel Robbins Podcast: If You’re Feeling Uncertain & Anxious, You Need to Hear This (Mar 13, 2025) · Listen from 5:28